Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Commercials: Old Cars, New Cars, Same Trend

So I don't know if you've noticed this or not, but a new trend in car commercials seems to be "calling back to the days we made cars that looked distinctive and cool without actually bothering to do any of that ever." It's really annoying because I've been saying cars need to look more distinct for a while now (I especially don't understand BMW's strategy there) and now they come out with these commercials that are just plain misleading. More after the jump:

Watch BMW's commercial, here:

Watch! As an interesting-looking car totally forgets what it used to look like!
Thrill! As a car you could pick out of a lineup disguises itself as a nobody in a crowd!
Experience! The most totally boring car of 2011!

And Chrysler's commercial, here, is even more insulting:

what happened to style? we're asking because seriously bro we can't find it anywhere

Here. Here it is.

all we found was a bunch of boring cars that look nothing like the cars we've been showing you

if only we could do something about this problem

To be fair, during those hundred and twenty five years they were mainly just dicking around with crash test dummies.

Don't get me wrong, this would actually make a good commercial--if the new cars weren't totally overshadowed by the older ones. And that's the same problem with the earlier Chrysler commercial--when I first saw it, I was agreeing with it. "Yeah, man, totally! I've been saying that for years now!" And then they have the audacity to serve me up a big helping of suck on that, jerkbrains! because I had the gall to take them at their word.

My point is that I hate sameness and I don't understand why these brands that make either luxury cars or luxury car commercials are all interested in mediocrity in their design. I mean, they apparently don't settle for it in their commercials, so why would they settle for it when it comes to the actual car? Is it because it's hard?

So what, you're a car company. Make me a cool car, don't just try to pretend like you did. You are literally showing me the difference in your own commercials. That's insulting. I believe the expression is "Don't piss in my pocket and tell me you didn't piss in my pocket, because dude I totally saw you."

It would be like if I tried to pass off a Jackson Pollock as a Leonardo. I would get laughed right out of the Louvre in handcuffs. And you know what? I would deserve it.

Because Jackson Pollock is terrible

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